It’s almost 11:00 at night, my child is asleep and I should be too. Instead, I’m writing this blog and I honestly have no idea why. But if just ONE person reads it and can relate to it, then there is my reasoning for doing this.
Some days I go to bed beating myself up and feeling so defeated. I look around at my house and all I see is the mess. I don’t see a roof over my head or toys all over the floor because my son has been playing. I just see a freaking MESS. It makes me feel like I’m failing as a mom and wife when the house isn’t spotless.
Then I get on social media and I start comparing myself to others. Other moms that SEEM like they have it all together. Other photographers that SEEM like they have it all figured out. Other people that SEEM like they never beat themselves up. It’s exhausting. I make myself this way.
Corey just came into the bathroom as I was taking a “relaxing” bath. He found me resting my head in my arms on the side of the tub. He said, “Babe, are you okay?” I lied and said “Yeah, I’m fine.” Little did he know that I was sitting there comparing myself and my life to everyone else’s. I was sitting there beating myself up for not being “better”. And then I was beating myself up for doing this to myself. It’s a never ending battle, really.
I go to bed many nights physically drained from the day AND mentally drained from COMPARING myself to other people. Too often I forget to be thankful for what I do have. I forget to be thankful for the clients that I do have that trust me to capture their families and their memories. I forget because I’m too busy focused on the “bad” in my life. The “bad” that doesn’t even really exist. I choose for it to exist.
So, if you’re reading this and you’re thinking “This is so me!” “Yes girl, I feel ya”. Then I’m here to tell you that you ARE ENOUGH! You do matter to someone. Your baby or husband or wife or dog NEED you to quit focusing on all the bad, quit comparing yourself to others and start focusing on the good in your life. Start ignoring the bad things and choose to BE HAPPY. Choose to see those toys in the floor because you have a growing toddler that lives there with you and not a mess. Choose to be proud of people on social media and their accomplishments. Choose to be you.
Choose to be the best you.
I write this to you but I’m also writing it to myself. I’m writing this so on my bad days, I can go back and look at it. Save this blog link to your favorites so you can go back and read and know that YOU ARE ENOUGH!
Just as an added bonus, here’s a picture of my why. When I feel so defeated, I just look at him and remember that I will always be enough to him. No matter how much I screw up, at the end of the day, I’m his mama and to him I will always be enough. He’s the reason I push so hard to be my best self.