To my little boy on his first birthday:
I can’t begin to express how much happiness you have brought not only to my life, but to everyone that meets you. You are so full of joy and your little smile is contagious. My personal word for 2018 was JOY. When I chose that word, I had no idea that I would use it so often because that’s how you are. You are joyful.
It feels like forever ago since I brought you into this world. We have been through so much in just a year. When we announced we were expecting a baby, your Mema Somogyi was probably the most excited out of everyone we told. She loved you so much before she even met you. We scheduled an early ultrasound at 12 weeks and invited both sets of grandparents, a couple of your aunts, an uncle, and your big cousin, Avery. As soon as the Ultrasound Tech showed us the ultrasound, your Mema Somogyi said “That’s a boy!” I never doubted that because I already knew the baby I was carrying was a boy, but your Mema confirmed my suspicions. We were all so happy to hear you were a BOY! I always knew I was going to be a boy mom.
On August 26th, 2017, my water broke. Right there in the front seat of your Papaw’s truck. Papaw wasn’t very happy with me, Haha! I thought as soon as my water broke I would start feeling contractions, but nope. Nothing happened. So I convinced myself that I wasn’t in labor. I continued on about my day like normal. I went to work, I vacuumed all day, and I even did some jumping jacks. Ya know, just in case I was in labor, I wanted to work you down. Throughout the day, I was texting your Mema asking her if this or that was a sign of labor. She and your Aunt Britt Britt kept telling me I was in labor but I was still in denial. By the way, your daddy was at work for 24 hours so he missed all of that excitement. Your Gagi spent the night with me that night and even painted my toenails for me, just in case we were fixing to have you! The next morning I woke up super early (not that I got much sleep that night anyway), so I woke Gagi up and told her to let’s take a walk. After walking I decided I would call your Daddy and see how much longer until he got home. He got home about 8:30 that Sunday morning on August 27th, 2017 so we decided to go on to the hospital. I walked in the hospital and told them I thought my water had broke and that I just needed to be checked. After some tests, they told me I had low fluid and I was already 4cm dilated. We called all the family and in no time, the waiting room was full of people anxiously waiting to meet you! I believe it was about 20 people! Your daddy, Gagi, Mema, and Aunt Britt Britt (we get to remember every detail of your birth thanks to her!) were in the room with us. I couldn’t imagine having you without any of them present. Your Mema is in the background of nearly every picture and you can just see the excitement on her face. Man, I still wish she were here today to see the excitement on YOUR face.
As soon as I grabbed you from Dr. Peyton and we laid you on my chest, I instantly fell in love. I loved you before you were born but nothing could have prepared me for that moment when you were actually in my arms. I can still feel the way you felt in that moment. Now you’re a big boy but, to me, you’ll always be that 7 lb, fresh, squishy baby boy that I met at 7:28 pm on August 27, 2017.
I may have given birth to you, but you gave me life. You gave me a purpose. You are the reason I keep doing and keep pushing through even when I want to give up. You are also the reason I’m already starting to get gray hair, but that’s okay. You’re worth every gray hair!
You are growing up so fast. It’s bittersweet watching your grow up. I’m sad you’re no longer a baby but I’m so thankful you’re healthy and thriving. I love watching you learn new things.
We have officially been breastfeeding for ONE YEAR! I am so proud of us. It wasn’t easy in the beginning for either of us but we didn’t give up. Now you love “the boob”, you love it so much that you have started pulling at my shirt when you want to nurse and you even said “boob” the other day. LOL! You’re such a funny kid.
I wish your Mema was still here to celebrate with us tomorrow on your birthday but I know she’ll be celebrating in Heaven. Your Aunt Paige just shared a picture that your Mema posted 6 years ago today. It is titled “A Letter From Heaven” and the first line says, “When tomorrow starts without me, and I’m not here to see….” I’m here to tell you, son, things like that don’t happen by coincidence. God places people or things, like this, to remind us of the love ones that have gone on before us. I promise you, as long as I’m living, you’ll always know who your Mema is.
So here’s to you, baby, on your first birthday. Your Mommy and Daddy love you more than you can ever fathom. You’re the best boy!
“I’ll love you forever, I’ll like you for always, as long as I’m living, my baby you’ll be.”